I actually feel sorry for Elisabetta Canalis. I have a soft spot in my cold, dead heart for a good “immigrant does well in America” story, and I feel like America was actively rooting against Elisabetta. After all, she has a great ass and she looks like Cindy Crawford in dim light, which was enough to get her George Clooney for two years. And apparently, that’s all Elisabetta gets. She doesn’t get Hollywood, she doesn’t get any more “modeling” jobs, she doesn’t even get cheesy reality-star fame on Dancing With the Stars – the audience couldn’t kick her off soon enough.

So now comes the sad stories about the end of Elisabetta’s “fame” in America. Sure, she’ll still be somebody in Italy – she’s probably even “A list” in Italy. But in America, she’s nothing more than a pushier Sarah Larson with a thick accent. Us Weekly got the ball rolling in this week’s print issue, apparently claiming that Elisabetta sent George Clooney “angry text messages” about his new girlfriend, Stacy “Cray-Cray” Keibler. Clooney took pity on poor Eli and denied the story to TMZ:

George Clooney is doing something he almost never does — commenting about a report on his romantic life … in particular, one that claims his ex-gf sent him angry text messages about his new gf.

The report in the current issue of US Weekly … claims Elisabetta Canalis fired off a series of angry texts to George when she found out he was dating Stacy Keibler.

But George tells TMZ, the story “was completely fabricated in order to sell magazines. I never comment on my personal life unless it affects others…and this lie affects others.”

George added this challenge to US Weekly, “Since I would be the only actual witness, I ask you to correct your story immediately, but that would assume you cared at all about telling the truth.”

[From TMZ]

Rough. All kinds of rough. If the story is true, poor Eli, and if it’s false (probably), then this was Eli’s last moment with Clooney – when he defended her “honor” as someone who wouldn’t be crazy enough to send nasty test messages, which is setting the bar pretty low. Clooney probably forgot to mention that he changed all of his numbers right after he had security escort Eli off the Lake Como estate.

Meanwhile, Eli gave a sad interview to Life & Style right after she was eliminated on DWTS. This whole thing made me cringe:

After being kicked off Dancing With the Stars on Sept. 27, Elisabetta Canalis wants the world to know one thing: She’s fine and moving on from ex-boyfriend George Clooney.

“I just want to move on,” she tells Life & Style. “I’m really just doing what I’ve done for years before — my job, and that’s television. I had this opportunity to do my job here in this country.”

While on the show, Elisabetta spent most of her time dodging questions about her famous ex. “Yes, he’s my ex-boyfriend and people in this country know me because of him, but…” Elisabetta said after the news of her elimination on last night’s results show.

“George Clooney, George Clooney, George Clooney, George Clooney, George Clooney,” kidded her partner, Val Chmerkovskiy, who then asked Elisabetta, “Do you think George Clooney voted for us?”

Very uncomfortably, the Italian beauty replied, “I don’t know. I don’t think anything right now.”

Admitting her surprise at last night’s outcome, Elisabetta reveals to Life & Style, “I think we are paying a little bit for our moods during the rehearsals maybe? I’ve learned that you have to be more diplomatic sometimes. Especially when I’m learning.”

But when it comes to dancing, she’s hanging her up shoes.

“Right now I’m going back to horseback riding,” she tells Life & Style. “I had the best teacher in the world.” And according to Val: “George Clooney approves this interview!”

[From Life & Style]

Ugh. Cringe. Poor Eli. She’s crazy, but I get the feeling Stacy Keibler could out-crazy her any day of the week. My advice for Eli? Go home. Not in a “we’re kicking you out” way, but in a “go see your family, have lunch with friends, lick your wounds” kind of way. Go home for a while, work in Italy, maybe try to really launch yourself as an actress/model/personality in Europe, and then find another nice, rich dude and stop talking about getting married and having babies, because that seems to drive the rich ones away.

I hope Stacy Keibler is watching this mess, because this is her journey in less than a year. I’m giving it six months, actually.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

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